The Jones’ always knew their windows were different. Something just wasn’t right. The glass was ethereally cold in the winter and hot to the touch in the summer. They could actually see the ghostly specter of their home’s heat lurking out of their cozy living room into the frigid December night air. Falling asleep during windy evenings was especially troubling. Mr and Mrs Jones would lie awake listening to their elderly windows whistle and moan long into the witching hour. They tried everything: covering the windows with plastic; installing digital thermostats; and even wearing bulky sweaters to bed in a futile attempt to deal with the horror their faulty windows saddled them with. Realizing the situation could no longer be ignored, the Jones’ acknowledged their frightening reality: they were held hostage in their own house by their haunted windows.
Séances, Ouija boards, and practitioners of the paranormal couldn’t remedy the issue. Everywhere they turned the Jones’ were hemorrhaging money into their heating bills. With no other options Mr and Mrs Jones finally reached out to Rhode Island Home Improvement. The Home Improvement Guys at RIHI, hearing the desperation in the homeowner’s voice, immediately rushed out to see the frantic couple. Upon assessing the situation, RIHI’s product specialist broke out the Protec replacement window, which at once put the Jones’ at ease. There was no question that the Protec window would rid their home of the incessant nuisance created by their demonic older windows. “Nothing battles the infernal nightmare high heating bills provoke quite like a composite constructed replacement window,” explained the RIHI specialist. Donning a near impenetrable U value, the Protec window proved to be just what the Jones’ had prayed for. Once RIHI expertly furnished their home with these amazing windows Mr and Mrs Jones finally found the salvation they had dreamed about. Haunted no more by nightly screams from their ghastly old windows, the Jones’ finally found solace in sleep. That is until Mrs Jones awoke one night to a slow, methodical, menacing drip…drip…dripping sound creeping in from the dark roof…
Of course Mrs Jones called RIHI at 401-739-1001 the next morning to address her roof, but that’s another story for another day.
Happy Halloween, Everyone!